never push around a meatball on a spagetti.

as you can see, for the past few weeks i`ve been perplexing myself with feelings that are unknown to me. well, i can`t really say unknow. let`s just say 'old feelings.'
i`ve been planting my old feelings back in my heart. i don`t know how i recovered them, but it hurts. especially when you know he got who he loves and i`m still a bummer who wishes for world gay humanity.
i`m confused.
at first, i thought that maybe it`s just a part of the recovery that i`ve been wanting these months. i wanted to get over him. i got over him. but he soon found his way back to my heart.
i know, i talked about alot of guys. he`s one of those guys, too. but he made the most dents in my heart. i can`t say his name cuz it won`t be proper and i don`t wanna ruin the friendship that we rebuild these few months.
I did mention in the past posts, that i don`t know if i really have those feelings. But i do know that i miss him.
he is very dear to me. and he will never realise it. cuz he has a person he loves. he won`t give a damn any other person who loves him. it`s always about who he loves.
this is heartbreaking. i don`t wanna like him. but he keeps interfering with my life, that it makes me so into him. again.
i just find him so perfect. not adorable. never attractive. handsome is a sin for him. but likeable, yes. i can`t stop thinking about you.
god. i still like his chest. *sigh.

again, i hope he`s not reading this. but i think he`s not. he ain`t got a blog, anyways.

i miss you.

the awesomely solemn end.

♥jakee.