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HAPPY JUBILEE PERAK OF MY 50TH POST!
today : boring maulud nabi ceramah. chatted with shar about her poodle and waxing legs. WAHAHA. the ceramah was so effin lame, that the lame was so lame enough to cause a pregnant cat to barf out its carriage. the non-muslim teachers joined the dikir. they just stood there, like they`re effin uneducated dolls searching for guidance. but it was a good thing, though.
afternoon : the audi was used by the effin hadrah people. so we had no practice. THEM, EFFIN HADRAH PEOPLE, WASTED MY EFFIN TIME. I`M SO EFFIN PISSED OFF. I HOPE YOU ALL EFFIN LOSE IN THE EFFIN COMPETITION, YOU EFFIN LOSERS. *MIDDLE FINGER. EFFIN BULLCRAPS. I`LL EAT YOUR BRAINS OUT AND BURN YOUR ASS INFRONT OF THE EFFIN MALL, GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.
anyways, i saw sii damit during the ceramah thing. just the head. cuz due to the blockage of some particular teacher, who cannot be named here, the other parts of sii damit is left unseen till the ceramah ended. and it took him 24 seconds to leave the audi. *sigh.
Damit<3
the whole MS girls were told to stay in after the boys left. and ivy *rolls eyes* starts talking about effin art which we effin don`t understand. and it` cuz it has to do with the vandalism. OHYAAA . DUE TO THAT UNLAID VANDALIST PROSTITUTE, THE WHOLE FEMALE STUDENT HAS TO CLEAN THE WHOLE EFFIN SCHOOLS EFFIN TOILETS. LIKE WHOT THE EFFIN HELL. I SWEAR I`LL KILL THAT EFFIN BITCH. CUT HER TONGUE AND FEED IT TO THE PIGS. I SWEAR I WILL LUST OVER MY REVENGE FOR BOTH THAT UNLAID VANDALIST PROSTITUTE AND IVY AND THE ADMIN. EFFIN DAMNITTTTTT. FOOOOOOOKIIIIIIIITTTTTT.
a friend of mine, jakee, went to school with only a brain of a size of a walnut and a shoe. she went to myk, her friends friend, and said 'hi.' myk looked at jakee and kissed her forehead. jakee, startled and paranoid, took her shoe and shove it in myk`s arse. the hot yet super-effin-oogly teacher went over and sprayed jakee with his effin saliva. jakee got pissed off and stripped the hot yet super-effin-oogly teacher, and threw him out of the window, making him land on his back on the concrete, which made his back flat, that his arse was pushed in. after running away from the arse flattening scene, i met damit, put him in a bag and tied him up in my bed. after enjoying myself with him, i killed him, preserved him and hanged him on my wall of fame, where all the losers are.
fogldoxsothoi.
today is the last day of april. enjoy ;p.
THE AWESOMELY FUCKING END.
; platinum.
i gots muscles cramps since sunday. the pahlawan practice was a total suicide ship but it was fun.
=D
so toodaay, fell asleep during english. we had this comprehension test, where they test our ability in english or something like that. was to sleepy that i just scribbled out all the crappy answers i could think off. HAHA. Apakan. mcq jua ganya tadi atuu. so antam tabak kalok ehh.
i saw HIM and the other HIM.
(oh shit. lemme drool first.)
chatted with tiqz during the twilight emerged from the horizon (eiseh) and she kinda got mental due to my behaviour and obsession towards the lil dude, which i now call him sii damit now, cuz my friends call him with that name.
WILEY.i can`t believe that we have the same taste, somehow, of guys.
he`s hottt, do0d.
so tired and sleepy. +_+
oh god, tomorrow practice lagiii.
i`m planning to wear jeans tomorrow cuz i feel rebellious.
WAHAHAHAH.
screw you, haiseh.
ikhlas tuu. non-refundable.
oh god. i dropped the phone twice dah on the floor due to my drowsiness. i better stop before i kill my hp.
THE AWESOMELY FUCKING END.
; platinum.
as the day passes by,
the more my feelings grew,
and no matter how much i try,
no matter how much i cry,
these emotions will eventually be ignored,
left, unattendant,
for me to die along.
the ships sailed away,
my breath lessens,
indifferent towards the surrounding,
(BAIEE. APAKAN KU BUAT ANI?)
i
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
you
=3.
i was once loved,
by a man so lovely,
but then, naivety escaped,
i looked away from him,
he tried,
but i pushed him away,
i never regretted it,
i am grateful of it,
cuz he`s just a friend, after all.
i love pete wentz.
live with it, morons.
life is just like paper.
you write on them.
you feel them up with dreams and ambitions.
nice handwritings are memories.
bad handwritings are nightmares.
when you get old, you`re all crumpled out.
when you`re torn, you`re heartbroken.
when you`re wrong, you take another paper to start a new chapter.
oh shit, whot am i tokin abot?
these are some few things that pissed me off these few days :
1] school is shit. the discipline commitee is always on our asses. it`s so fucking annoying.
2] stupid school won`t let us important form 5 year have PE. i mean, cut the shit out. we need sports. our batch made the school proud. total fuckers.
3] tests are getting so fucking over-rated. like whot the fock? i`d blame it on myself cuz i didn`t study but then, the teachers are to blame the most. esp maths d. bullshit.
4] school is like a shit prison. it`s no longer the school that i used to enjoy during my junior years. it`s so fucking bullshit that i can`t even stand looking at its shitty building.
5] the new rules have no imagination. no PE. no marchpass for seniors. no guitar cca. no shortsleeve for girls. no playing sports in the open areas. no playing netball in the netball court without permission. i think they want the whole school to be fat. as fat as a bathtub. it`s so fuckedtastically unhealthy.
6] rumors are flying around saying that by the next of this year, the girls are gonna wear the big tudong planet. i mean, how SHITTY is that? mind me for my FOUL language, but wtf? wait. WHOTDAFOCK?! i hate my days in ugama. remembering it makes me pissed off. and now, using that tudong will eventually make me lose it. bullcrap.
7] headaches. been getting headaches for WEEKS. i fucking don`t know why i`m getting this head-throbbing pain.
8] the haram-ing of mobile phones. use the payphone. -________-" i will fucking NOT use it! we waste our money on credit for our mobile and now we`re gonna waste more on some stupid payphone card. get a fucking LIFE, uneducated morons. teachers bring em to school and their always disturbs the lessons, and us students are the ones who can`t bring them? pfft.
9] him. for being so fucking cute. HAHA.
10] chemistry. i HATE you. i LOVE physics. why do i need to study i subject that i don`t like? it`s such a waste. our school must be the most dumbest smart school ever in the whole hellhole world. and that`s a complimen, i tells ya.
11] lesbians. why do lesbians exist? they disgust me the most. gays are my obsession. lesbians are just an eyesore. they are the vomit in the toilet bowl. they are the shit being eaten by useless flies. lesbians are just fucked up creatures, who can`t really get fucked up since lesbians are women and women have no dicks, with no intelligence to differentiate life and reality. they fuck using a goddamn strapon. such an unsatisfactory life, they have. HAHA.
12] toilet vandalisms. why do they vandalise toilets......without bringing me? it must be one of the coolest things that ever happened. i mean, such courage and bravery that vandalist have. her guts are the guts i wanna have. i just don`t like the fact that the vandalist is a cheap unlaid prostitue. *sigh.
13] pete wentz. why ain`t he in brunei? i don`t know. maybe it`s cuz this country is just as boring as george bush. serious shit.
why can`t everyone just drop dead.
THE AWESOMELY FUCKING END.
; platinum.
oh gawdd.
i must say our tests are so fucking hard, maaaan.
i so so so LOVE physics. i tried so hard, i studied, but but i still failed.
=(
ohh maiii gawdd.
like i`m still down due to that test.
and i made my physics teacher sad. i think he nearly cried, maaaaahn.
i`m sorry, sir chok. i really really am.
i promise you, sir, i will pass, with flying colors, in the next test.
and and todaaay, in tuition, the chemistry teacher came and hour late. like SHIIIIIIT!
that`s why i HATEchemistry!!!
AAAAAAAAAARRRGGHHHHH.
*haha. kes stress.
i gots no pahlawan practice. dumb luck. i bought my whole gear, maaaan. and today`s like monday, and it has the most books to bring.
shittoesss.
anyways, i saw saw saw him taaaadiiiiiiiii.
HAHA.
i stalked him, mostly.
me and ze were like watching from above. i was just looking him and she was watching from afar at bonza.
(apakan. sama jua tu stalking.)
i`m so so so bored. so stressed out baaa.
my credit low, dhuuuuuuude. so i guess i`ll stop here.
next time, baaaaaaby.
:)
THE AWESOMELY FUCKING END.
; platinum.
PS. yaaaw, buiis, i miss you, rie. =S
PSS. i miss this someone laaaah. =P
talking is a waste of breath.
honestly, i think i`d rather not spill out my words cuz i`m not in a good mood.
the whole day i was thinking about one damned thing, 'wasting'.
i think i`m a waste.
i think i`m an abomination to the world.
i think i`m the pollution to the the busy roads and filthy rivers.
i think i`m a disgrace to my respectful country yellow bruneian ic.
i think i`m just wasting myself here, blogging, not wanting to be alive.
living is a waste of death.
i wonder why god didn`t just let me die when my mom gave birth to me.
i wonder why god didn`t just let me die in a car accident when i crossed the road.
i wonder why god didn`t just let me die when i had my very life-taking heart problem.
i wonder why god didn`t just let me die in a plane crash when i went to foreign countries.
i wonder why am i still here, not all dead and cold, being eaten by every insects living underground. i want my respect from god by making me one of the deads cuz i consider myself as a waste.
i consider myself officially lifeless.
i am a waste.
i want to die.
i will die.
but i wish i was dead.
i deteste studying.
i don`t have bestfriends.
i don`t have closefriends.
i don`t have an ambition.
i don`t have a dream.
i don`t have an understanding of my ownself.
i don`t have people i love.
i don`t have people loving me.
so why should i live?
my wrist sings out the rhythm of suicide.
i`ve tried suicide.
it was heaven for a while, but after i woke, seeing my mom in tears and my dad with his swollen eyes due to lack of sleep, me all in white with needles and wires wrapping around me, realised that i am alive, but i have no life.
i have no life.
i breath.
i eat.
i am a teen.
i do chores.
i cry.
i smile.
i depress.
i chill.
i love.
i hate.
i go online.
i login my fs.
i update my blog.
i am like any teen born in this world, unperfect, but alike in any similar way.
but how come i don`t feel like i`m one of them?
how come i feel everything is negative with every positive pop-ups?
why do i feel so depressed in a happy surrounding?
why do i feel so left out with friends who surround me, smothering me every minute?
why do i feel so lifeless when people go on, enjoying all the shits and just go with the flow?
that`s me.
the dawn is never same like the twilight, same color but never the same.
THE AWESOMELY FUCKING END.
; platinum.
chatted with bro, yusre @ mustajir, like few minutes ago.
i kinda miss chatting with him. i mean i rarely chat with him, eventhough our emails can be seen online in our msn contact list.
read his blog just now.
i can see he`s enjoying life fully with his new friends and new adventures, except for the tests, i guess.
due to stupid internet connection, and also crappy hp used, i can`t link you, bro. so next time. next time. :)
HAHA.
I just had a flashback.
Sweetsweet memories.
right, bro?
THE AWESOMELY FUCKING END.
; platinum.
the sandman choked on his own sand, gagging and vomiting out more sand.
to think that i was more into the lives of the dead.
sometimes i think that my thoughts about you are just dreams that i get when i go to sleep, a deep sleep, more like being dead, all cold and lifeless.
i`ll stop the reaper from taking your soul. you`re so precious to me. i treasure you like the presents i get whenever i turn a year older.
slit my throat, gasping for air, the torture of a near death experience.
it all turns to a memory. a memory where i just elaborate and exaggerate, but will eventually fade, like the aurora in antartica. looking so beautiful yet so scarce.
i wanna touch your fingers. stubby and chubby, i can guess.
the living dead doesn`t respect the living. it happens all the time. that`s why the living are part of their main meal.
as i said, the bartender won`t give me a lime daiquri, eventhough i threatened to strip him and sell his innocence to the senior citizens.
screw him, bitch.
THE AWESOMELY FUCKING END.
; platinum.
the irony.
i`m back blogger buddies.
and i`m not in such a good mood.
been really sick these few weeks.
i don`t know why but i just hope it costs my life being taken away.
i don`t mind being dead.
i don`t have a life. when i`m dead, and the devil interviewing me about my past will surely take off his cape and smother me back alive, whispering in my ear 'tell me why would you enter such place for the dead? you have no life. pretty much you were dead since you were born. you being dead now does not make you officially dead. so i assure you, go get a life, enjoy all the crappy shit, do drugs, drink and drive, have sex with a gigolo, kill your discipline teacher, establish a gay club, abolish lesbians then go walk to a busy street where you`re sure of getting hit. it works. after that, you come to me, i`ll assure you when you`re officially dead, friend.'
i`m so pathetic. thinking too much till it causes my brain cells to die of pressure.
it`s test week. so shitty. biology was a total shit. malay was just simple shit. mib was mini shit. amaths was mega shit. english was just *shakes head.
tomorrow, we`re having chemistry. economics and physics on saturday. thats bullshit.
whatevs.
Oh yeahh.
HE KNOWS.
congratulation to me for being a sore loser. i`m sure me being obsessed of him will crack his brains and spill all his intestines out.
FUCKKKK.
I loike you, bui.
LOVE + LIKE = LOIKE.
sakai.
i should`ve had stayed loving the most hottest hottie, PETE WENTS aka PETER LEWIS KINGSTON WENTZ III. the dude that would cheer me up with his eye lined sexy looks and nice thorn by the side hair.
you`re HOT, pete. i love you.
one night and one more time,
thanks for the memories,
eventhough they weren`t so great,
he tastes like you,
only sweeter.
pete, thnks fr th mmrs is the awesomest song ever. it tears my heart from the vena cava to the aorta (wtf?) listening to it. looking at the video makes me wanna drool a puddle sized of my study table.
HAHA. Right. Love you, pete.
:D
(i know talking about pete is random, but hey, it`s a blog numb nuts.)
THE AWESOMELY FUCKING END.
; platinum.
i can`t stop thinking of you.
really can`t, babyy.
=p
it`s like you`re a necessity to me now.
can`t stop awwhing at youu.
look how emo i am here.
it`s so hard.
i met youuuu.
at school plang.
WAHAHAH.
i drooled. i drooled. i nearly fainted. i smiled.
ohwtf.
this is life, babyy.
i found youu.
now it`s the emo mood mode.
oh yeahh, niccolas is hot, too.
but still, that guy will make me drool, smile, scream and think more about him the most.
the lil dude.
;p
THE AWESOMELY FUCKING END.
; akii.
i stopped and stared at the ceiling.
empty. as my soul.
i need a life.
four simple words which always lead to a hard way to establish.
the equation for life =
a hobby to stick at
+
the person you love
+
friends you adore
=
LIFE.
hmm. i got friends. but surely, i dont have ones that i adore.
i got a person that i love. but, haha. right. haha. just leave it.
a hobby. too many hobbies.
see how much people struggle to survive or establish a life that they desire to be perfect.
i do. but...
THE AWESOMELY SADANG FUCKING END.
; akii.
bananya hari ani ari jadi sorang anak ane bahh.
anak ani bana-bana ku banci.
meluat ku meliat ya ato.
anak siapa ka tu, indungnya inda kali pandai membasarkan anak nya ato.
kedia ani lelaki, anak sapa, sapa bapanya, mana ya lahir, sapa gfnya, mandul ke inda, malastaa ku ingau.
yang ganya ku tau, ya ani ari jadi dan aku bana-bana banci ya ani.
sudah tah cheap, duii, muah lagi gula-gula seposen ahh.
at least, gula-gula nyaman lagi di makan. ani just kan meliat batang idungnya atu pun kan muntah.
matii matii.
poklan lagi toh. perasan kiut. muntah ku, bui, meliat muhamu yang inda jua telampau ok ato, udah tah itam lagam, perasan model. model rejek. kadai kaling pun inda mau menjadikan ya untuk patung dorang.
lau di bandingkan kau dengan tiang tau sampah belipstik yang memakai lagi badak kapur atu dengan kau, lagi bisai ku memilih tiang tau sampah atu.
hmm. anak ani jua perasan pandai waa. but skalinya, tsktsk, kucing ku pulang dapat ijazah.
HAHA.
antaa ehh anak ani.
pikirnya bini-bini ani sanang di tipu kali. sanangkan di bawanya sweet talk, yang membaigali ku mendangar atu.
bunyi macam macho anak ani. sekalinya betipun dangan aku, duiiiiiii, suaranya macam orang pondan. ketawa lagi macam keldai.
baik plang ku betipun dengan orang indon toh. dorang pandai lagi control macho.
matii matii.
ya ani bari banci ehh.
ya banci kan aku jua. time msn ucapnya fuck you tia, bitch tia. macam gagah usulnya. sekalinya lau ku balas, di blocknya aku. matii kaliiiii.
then di suuh nya kawannya add emel ku. kawannya ni plang marahi aku baa. buduuuuh kaliiii.
menyampuk banaa anak kawan gila bayi anii.
(pissed off mode. children under 12, please leave this blog, as it may cause damaged to your innocent MIB self. thank you.)
macam nada di marahinya aku ahh. macam aku besalah. cakapnya lau anak bayi atu bemasalah, ia yang interceptkan. cam bayi. padantah ya atu lau di bawa bekelaie, ya memblock orang.
buduuuuuuh taaaa banaaaaa kamuu beduaaa atuuuu.
ahernya cakapnya ya inda mau bekelaie dgn aku. awuuuuuuu. macam nada ya marahi aku, cakapnya inda mau kelaie tia.
hmm.
lagi skali aku ucapkan, selamat ari jadi, anak kan mati sial gila bayi. ku harap kau mati di langgar matuka on the way ko balek dari mall. dan mayat mu nada orang tekilala pai dorang humban saja ke dalam longkang.
amin.
THE AWESOMELY FUCKING END.
; akii.
hmm. hmm.
wish you were here.
haha.
you. you. you.
you`re honestly in my head now, babyy.
the conversation between two unidentified being of earth, trying to communicate as if mars was about to explode.
' headache. kym sulai=
oh. happy birthday.
the lil dude=
umm. thanx...
' headache. kym sulai=
have an awesome nineteenth (?) birthday.
convo ended without saying any goodbyes or flying kisses.
the other convo (actually its not really a convo, more to message) was before the one above. it showed more bright light.
me=
happy birthday. (:
the lil dude=
hehe...thanx very much...
me=
your welcome. see you at school. ;p
tsktsk.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
THE AWESOMELY FUCKING END.
; akii.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
the lil dude
that i adore so much.
hope your nineteenth birthday will be a blast.
ily.
wish you were here.
i pray for your happiness and joy.
ive gone crazy over you.
ill give you something special.
and i hope youll like it.
i miss you lots.
but for now, its till here.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
; akii.
HEADACHES.
been having them since my feelings glued itself to the lil dude.
it`s stuck somewhere on him, seemingly sticking there, to annoy me with head-banging headaches. stuck somewhere. HAHA. (hope it`s at his arse. xp)
oh, lil dude.
my heart was ripped from chest, dislocating it from all its veins and arteries and also every organs that needs its support to live.
it thumps with every beat, every glance, every look-of-an-eye, whenever i`m watching you.
i tried pushing you away from my empty heart but i guess somethings cant be pushed away. so i like you. i like you against my will.
at first, liking you was hell-ish. you distract me. ALOT. okay. seriously, i don`t know why i think it` hell-ish but like distraction suffered my brain, taking me away from reality.
your image is planted in mind, so whenever i`m busy with my stuff, you pop out and just stay there as if you`re real.
*sigh.
oh baby, HAHA. now your image is like forcing its way into me, just wanting me to think about you. no one but just you.
now its magic is had worked on me, its nothing but you, you, you.
that cutee, cutee dude.
HAHAHA.
have you ever want someone so badly?
i do. the effect of wanting someone so badly, HEADACHES.
bad. bad. bad.
now i got nothing in my mind.
except for him.
meaning im gonna stop my blogging here laaaah.
next time, babyy.
THE AWESOMELY FUCKING END.
; akii.
